Miscarriage / Stillbirth

We are sorry that you have lost your baby

A very significant aspect of any woman or man’s life journey is the wonderful possibility of creating life. For many men and women, however, this has become an area that causes them a great deal of pain, frustration and anxiety. The journey to Motherhood can be a tortuous and steep road and the tremendous pain of miscarriage and stillbirth a very heavy rock to carry.

Many women experience intense emotions even years after the miscarriage – especially on the date the baby was due or the anniversary of the loss. Clare Harvey writes in the foreword to Isabelle Kirton’s book “Spirit Child” – “whatever the reason for ending a life miraculously conceived within a woman’s body, the female psyche remains prepared for the whole magical process of birth. Emotionally and physically – especially hormonally – the body still appears to be in a pregnant state. It is as if the switch has not been switched off, which perhaps explains why many women are highly sensitive and emotional at the time when they would have given birth”.

Partners, family, friends and colleagues, who have not themselves had such an experience, are often surprised by the enormity of grief experienced by the woman and cannot understand the degree of devastation, especially if the baby is lost in the first trimester. Niravi Payne (in the her book – the Whole Person Fertility Program) describes a study carried out by researchers LG Peppers and RJ Knapp which found no difference in the intensity or patterns of grief among women who experienced a miscarriage, stillbirth or neonatal birth. Jonathan Scher M.D, explains – “The major changes in a woman’s hormonal makeup take place early in pregnancy, almost just after conception. Mothers undergo huge hormonal fluctuations and we tend to think this grows along with her swelling belly. But, in fact, the greatest impact of maternal feeling occurs early in pregnancy. So when you lose a pregnancy, it does feel like you have lost a child, an anticipated child. There is scientific (hormonal) proof that these feelings occur!”

So even if you have miscarried your baby early on in your pregnancy, it is really important that you allow yourself to grieve for your baby and acknowledge him or her as “real”. Flower Essences can help you do this. Flower Essences guide us gently back into our hearts, allowing us to release underlying tensions in the body and take back control of our lives. Energy now flows more freely in the body and healing begins. Every woman’s reason for miscarrying and her reaction to it is different so it is difficult to recommend specific essences; however, the range described below is a good starting place.

GAIA’S RANGE OF ESSENCES AND ESSENTIAL OILS

My own experience of miscarriage was a very lonely one and I remember finding it difficult to believe that such a common experience was so “swept under the carpet.” The idea therefore of creating a range of products specifically for women (and their partners) who have miscarried or lost a baby was conceived at the time of our miscarriage. In memory of our baby, we have since helped create such a range. We are very lucky that Alaskan Essences have agreed for us to use their Soul Support Essence in the Bath Soak, Body Lotion and RollerBall. The range is called Gaia’s Range and can be found here.

The essential oil blend has been created by Katseye Blends - one of the key essential oils in this blend is Rose Absolute. Alongside Soul Support, Rose helps to remove grief from the womb so that if we decide to try again, the womb environment is a safe and nurturing place for the new baby - rather than full of fear and anxiety if we have not allowed ourselves to grieve.

Gaia’s products extend a warm and loving hand to any woman and her partner who are going through intense pain and sorrow. They will help to soothe the turmoil and if so desired, can shine a light on why it had to happen, bringing understanding and healing and allowing the energy of the body to be much more receptive to another baby.

Sending you courage and love on the next part of your journey. Do email us on info@flower-essences.net if you would like help with choosing essences for yourself.